Family

I wish I had more time…

group1backup2 9 08 2706Today I share with you what made me a better person. DON’T GET ME WRONG…I am not an angel and I am as flawed as the next person. There are some moments that change your life forever. Some of these moments make you wish you could have done things differently. A phone call from home (overseas) two years ago propelled my world in an unfamiliar territory. It took me to a place where my emotions had never been before. Two years on after that early Saturday morning phone call my outlook on life and other people are different. After digesting what was said to me, all that went through my mind was… I wish…and it went on forever, wishing I had more time… that Saturday morning I lost my father whom I have not seen for a while due to travelling and living overseas. For the first time in my life I hated being on a plane, spending a good part of the 14 hours flight time with a blanket over my head and crying my heart out. It was too much for the other passengers and the flight attendants who tried hard to console me. My father was an exceptional man- full of life and flawed and too young to die. His death made me realise that perhaps I spent more time judging him because of his flaws than celebrating the good he did. As horrible as this may sound, my father’s death made me a better person. It was only after he was gone that I could see that his good deeds outweighed his flaws. I have always loved him even if he was not perfect but I wish I had not been so judgemental. I wish every single day that I could tell him “You did alright as a father and grandfather.” As a mother, I am now mindful that my children will judge me but I hope they recognise the good in me too.

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10 thoughts on “I wish I had more time…”

      1. Hi Jini,

        Wow, what a writer you are, your words are captivating.

        It’s Georga-Mae. I cry a tear reading this, chief changed my life for the better, his way of life inspired me and it always will. I am so sorry for your loss, it’s such a shame. My heart goes out to you and all your family.

        I remember so clearly being in Seychelles with you all, and how amazing all your family are.

        I found your blogs whilst searching for Seychelles octopus curry recipe! Can’t stop reading your blogs now! You are an amazing writer, I think you should write a book, I would buy it in an instant!

        I am now 22 and have been with my now fiancé for 4 years, he really is a wonderful man, we was planning our wedding in Gibraltar for 2015 when I started to feel very sick and exhausted, and we are now expecting our first baby together! – that’s the wedding on hold lol

        I hope you, Neil, and your wonderful babies (not babies anymore I know, but I’m sure they’ll always be your babies!) are all okay and enjoying life to the fullest.

        Give my love to everyone.

        Take care, big hugs!

        Georga-Mae (and tiny bump)
        X

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        1. Oh Georga…Thank you for your lovely comment. You have no idea how happy I am to know that you are happily engaged and happy (ok…lots of happy in that sentence but I am happy) 🙂 Glad my blog mean something to you. Yes my father did inspire a lot of people with his act of kindess.Thank you.Best of luck with the little bump.
          Much love

          Like

  1. Absolutely right, we can be hard on our parents but I think time, distance, having kids and unfortunately loss, can definitely soften those feelings and judgments. It sounds like you were a wonderful daughter, regardless of your own misgivings, and I’m sure he thought the world of you x

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