Family, Life, Lifestyle

To Be Happier You Do Not Need…

Happiness is learning to say ‘no’ to the desires that drain you out


Once in a while I waver away from my blog simply because I need time to gather my thoughts as life is not being  kind to me…OK life is never kind, it is what we make it to be. Taking a step back and re-evaluate why you are not in a ‘happy place’ means you know you are not where you need to be.

I have heard this a thousand times-To be truly happy in this world you need: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.  I don’t think anything could be closer to the truth, but too often we forget about it and we find ways of complicating things for ourselves.  We look for happiness where it does not exist – in shallow goals and desires – in possessions and impressing the wrong people. We are all human so we have flaws, weaknesses, misjudgment and we get things wrong but what will make you different from others is the ability to sit down and realise that you are getting it wrong or saying to yourself “hang on…I am not happy and this needs to change.” There are so many things in our lives that we think is contributing to our happiness when in fact they are just bogging us down. I believe one of the best feelings comes when you realise that you can be perfectly happy without the things you once thought you needed.

These may be common in our lives, but rather than contributing to our happiness, they rob us of it. To be happier YOU DO NOT NEED:

  • To please everyone – Be careful not to give so much of yourself to others that you end up completely losing yourself (unfortunately I am quite good at this one!)  When you go around pleasing everyone but yourself, you are the one that gets hurt in the end.  The late and great Herbert Bayard Swope said it like this: “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”
  • Everything to be easy – You have to do hard things to be happy in life. The things no one else is doing.  The things that frighten you.  The things others can’t do for you.  The things that make you question how much longer you can hold on and push forward.  Because those are the things that define you.  Those are the things that make the difference between existing and living – between knowing the path and walking the path – between a life of mediocrity and a life filled with happiness and success.
  • Certainty and guarantees – Some people build too many walls in their lives and not enough bridges. It sounds crazy, they are putting their happiness at risk.  Don’t be one of them.  Open yourself up.  Take chances.  Run free.
  • To be better than others – when we think everyone is our competition – when we think we have to be richer, smarter, and more attractive than the person sitting next to us, life wears us out. We become tired. Bottom line: Compete with yourself only! Just be a better version of yourself.
  • Perfect harmony in all relationships at all times – Harmony in relationships is nice when it’s sincere, but too often we try to fake it. Be honest about it, lying to yourself will not make things any better and certainly  it will not make you any happier. After all, the only way to be happy in life is to live with integrity.  This means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships.  Make choices based on what you believe in, and not just what others believe in. Effective communication is king. You have to talk it out sometimes, sooner rather than later!

Finally, absolutely no one is happy all of the time.  Because you simply can’t be happy unless you’re unhappy sometimes.  This is the harsh truth but even when life is less than blissful, you are still in charge of how you respond.  Choose positivity, always.  The greatest act of faith some days (I mean the down days!) is to simply get up and face the world.

Always remember ” To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” Have a great week and I am happy to be back 🙂

Leave a comment below and share your thoughts and insights.

Linked to Honest Mum Brilliant Blog Posts

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12 thoughts on “To Be Happier You Do Not Need…”

  1. Great piece Seselwa, So so true that many of us are busy fighting to avoid risk by building walls around us to save us from the storm when instead we could be managing risk by building and clearing a safe passage to what we really want. I love the post

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your insight. Sometimes we lose sight of what really makes us happy.Often times we struggle to find it because we are conforming to the idea of what makes us happy rather than reaching deep inside and find what truly makes us smile.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Glad you like it. Personal challenges and how we face them define our level of commitment to ‘ourselves’. We owe it to ourselves, with fear or fearless to take things on if we are to ever be happy. Good luck!


  2. So so true cuz…i tink we all need to be inspired at times and your post has inpired me to accept the things i can’t change and be content with what life has given me so far…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. As difficult as it may seems/looks sometimes you have to do what is best for you to achieve your expectation of happiness. We all view happiness differently but the bottom line is it has to be truly satisfying for your soul. Acceptance of what have been is a good way to start. I am glad you find inspiration in my experience. I write with feeling and truth from the bottom of heart and it can only come from experience. Much Love and good luck.


  3. Appreciating the small things can go such a long way too. I see so many people chasing material things, hoping that it will make them happy but they are left just chasing the next fix. Great post, full of truths #brilliantblogposts

    Liked by 1 person

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