First of all, to my followers, sincere apology for not giving you any attention in 2016. It was necessary for me to take a step back as I needed to deal with a lot of things. Sometimes we do need to remove ourselves from familiar territory just to make sense of what’s going on in our lives.My blog is my “go to” place when I need to offload and I felt it was better to go offline for a while to deal with personal matters. I had no intention of deserting you for that long but it happened. As you know this little bit of internet space is important to me, it is a place where we figure things out and share thoughts but I needed to figure things out on my own. Thank you for your patience and for those who have been asking me if I was OK and if I am coming back,well I am back and I promise you I am fine. 2016 was a year of reflection and major changes in my life. I took a step back and focused on what really matters most.(Now, with apologies , excuses and explanation out of the way…shall we?)
2016…You’ve thrown me some sh*t cans to deal with but you also gave me some amazing experiences. In all you’ve been alright but challenging. I have started 2017 with much optimism and I cannot wait for what is in store for me.(or maybe not!)
What really went down in 2016?
Late 2015, I changed job, as professional development I took up a University course. I am now really settled and enjoying my new environment and challenges. After being in my previous job for almost 5 years I did have doubts about moving on but it was the best decision. Mentally, I am stronger and professionally I am better off. I’ve made some wonderful friends from my old job and that have not change. I taught some great students too!
My baby boy is no longer in primary school, after working hard for his 11+ exams he got a place at a Boys’ Grammar School. He is still on unfamiliar territory, there has been tears all round but we are getting there. It is not easy when you have been in a primary school for so many years and all of a sudden you are without your friends and you have to start all over again.
My daughter started her GCSE courses and choosing the right subjects was important for her and she needed my guidance. There has been a lot of mother daughter bonding and discussing about the future, mostly at Starbucks as this is our favourite place when we want to get away from the boys!
My husband now teach at special school for kids with Autism. To say it has not been easy is an understatement. It has been really hard and it is still hard. I always say only special people can teach these special children. He has come home with concussion, bite marks and bruises but each morning he still wakes up and goes to the same job to face the children, for that,I admire him.
However our biggest challenge as a family was to decide whether we wanted to live in England or leave England.We took a trip to Seychelles in summer 2016 and after the trip we were able to put things into perspective. It is hard living away from my family but when I agreed to this interracial marital contract of mine 🙂 I was aware that our lives will be different and that we will have to choose what work best for our family.
Just a few things I learnt in 2016…
You can’t please everyone. I am a people ‘pleaser’ and I go above and beyond to please others but I need to stop it and put myself first. I can live with the fact that some people won’t like me, and I am OK with that!
I need to be more confident and just do what my heart desire. Waiting for other people to give you the nod of approval is a waste of time and it will kill your passion.
Making time for friends and family is so important. I always used to think they’d always be there when I need them but 2016 I connected more with my friends and family on a deeper level. I made new friends and even managed a few cinema outings and dinner with my girlfriends. In Seychelles one of my best friend managed to drag me to a posh bar and I enjoyed it even if I was on non alcoholic cocktails! When I went home I spent so much time with my mum and elderly aunty that I learnt so much about their childhood. I am 40+ and there was so much I didn’t know about my family.
Work is not everything. The mental stress and pressure and tears were not worth the career path I was on. My happiness was more important and I have now find a better work and life balance and I am a lot happier.
I hope you have some cracking plans for 2017 and as always feel free to comment.
Much love LBS