Why do you believe that you must be something different from who you really are? Why do you beat yourself up for not always getting it right? Why the blooming heck do you hold yourself to an impossible standard; perfection!
The fear that you aren’t enough: you are not smart enough, tall enough, thin enough, beautiful enough (the list will be too long for this blog post!) is actually making your life pointless and “not perfect”, a ridiculous standard that actually none of us can achieve. You know it and I know it too but why do we seek perfection? There is nothing wrong with having standards, but impossible standards?
I remember growing up and hating myself for being very skinny, I hated myself so much that all photos that I was in became victims of my bright red pair of scissors. I knew I was not the prettiest girl (at this tender age I had my own definition of pretty!) because nobody ever said to me I was pretty (SIGH) But I was always told that I was clever, intelligent, smart, sporty so I guess I simply labelled myself as the “not so pretty, smart and sporty skinny girl.” Looking back now, I must say that’s pretty good standard…right? Who doesn’t want to be smart and sporty? I am now a grown up mature woman and I still give my body a hard time (sometimes, not always!) To be honest, I do try to be more gentle on myself. This time round I am in control of my feelings and emotions (I have no urge to get the scissors out!) I try not to seek perfection and try to teach my teenage children the dangers of seeking perfection all the time. Perfection in human being is non-existence. We are all flawed and we can never have it all so if you are beautiful, (depending what you define as beauty) then ran with it, if you are very smart and successful then thank the almighty for giving you such brain power and yourself for the hard work.
You need to learn to balance those external expectations with the reality of humanity. Find your unique version of your outer beauty and own who you are as an individual and embrace your unique flaws and all.
Psychological maturity is what we should seek, that comes with maturity, responsibility, interdependence, honesty and integrity. These qualities can only be cultivated through your inner quest for self-knowledge; know yourself and be willing to come to terms with who you are. The continuous pursuit of ‘flawlessness’ makes life too hard and sometimes unbearable. External focus will not find you the perfection. What you truly need is the ultimate peace within yourself. If you focus on the inside, you develop the strength and compassion that makes life easier, more peaceful and happier. Do not be addicted to the pursuit of perfection, stop giving yourself a hard time and just embrace the TRUE YOU!
